Shameless Product Endorsement '09.75

Sadly, all of my recent discoveries have been of the food variety, so if you're on a diet, I can't help ya. If like me; however, you are trying to increase your girth (and I'm not even sure what girth is..) then this update is for you, Dear Reader!

• Wheat Thins Toasted Chips - We are currently (not at this second, mind you) munching on Great Plains Mutligrain flavor. These are quite fantabulous. I'm not much on crackers, and I'm even less on Wheat Thins. However, I don't mind eating these adorned with cream cheese and various other accessories.
• Velveeta Shells & Cheese - You're unimpressed already, I can tell. This is old news, but I have not shared this here...and by golly, I WILL OR BUST! So, Velveeta S & C comes in a easy cup now (think Easy Mac.) It's awesome for those of us with macaroni addicts.
• Martha White Blueberry Cheesecake Muffin mix (& Chocolate Chip, also) - Again, what's so great, you say? Seriously, Martha's been around since Lot's wife turned to a pillar, but I have recently started baking muffins on Sunday to put under glass on the cake pedestal. #1. It's easy and looks like I've really gone Crocker. #2. My peeps can eat on them for breakfast throughout the week. Interesting side note: I substitute heavy cream for milk in the recipe. Makes for a slightly denser muffin, but oh you won't regret the creamy taste. Hey, I told you. Girth!
• Activia Vanilla yogurt - I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not irregular anymore. But that's not the point. The point is that DaddyP makes yogurt parfaits with this stuff that are too die for! He layers sliced strawberries, blueberries, bananas, and honey granola and oats together. If I were of the notion to eat such ridiculously healthy stuff, I'd love it. As it stands, no...it's not enough to entice me away from muffins laced with artery clogging matter. Thanks, though.
• Tobasco Pepper Jelly - Is there anything this little jar can't do? Spread it on a sandwich, put it on cream cheese (GIRTH!) and serve on the aforementioned Wheat Thin Chip....you'll thank me. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
• Green Giant Honey Glazed Carrots (frozen) - I apologize for bringing a vegetable to this cellulite party, but you should try them. Really.
• Marie's Greek Vinaigrette (with feta) - This is THE best dressing you'll ever eat! We initially discovered it at Schlotsky's, asked our grocer to stock it for us, and wall-ah! It's amazing! We use it with some diced tomatoes, diced Kalmata olives, and sprinkle a bit of feta crumbles on our salad. Divine!

Ok, you digest that, and I'll talk to ya later! Get it? Digest that?? Hahhahaaa.