Topic Tuesday

Pet Peeves.
We all have them. Unfortunately, some folks have more than others. I'm a woman of few peeves. Mostly, I'm a very easy going, hard-to-peeve gal. Still, if I have to list my top 5, they wouldn't be hard to come up with. Just because the list is short doesn't mean each peeve is any less peeve-ish. Peevish? Peeveish? Peevesque? Pv'd? And I'm curious...can a peeve be something other than a pet one? Are there other varities of peeves? And what kind of word is peeve? Latin? There are certain words that, when said alone, just have a very unusual ring to them. For example, gong. Gong. Peeve. Very, very unusual.

Top 5 Pinkie Peeves:
5. People who drive slow in the fast lane. Oh. Ehm. Gee. I once saw a Far Side (hallowed music inserted here) cartoon that depicted a scene from Hell where each person was assigned to their own little jail cell (i.e. "Special Place") amidst the flames with little doorplates labeling their offense. There were terrorists, ax murderers, and right next to those horrible villians....a doorplate that read "People Who Drive Slow in the Fast Lane." Apparently, this isn't just a peeve of mine.
4. People who make nice. It's hard not being a nice person. Not that I'm not a NICE person, but I believe that sometimes, in order to maintain truthfulness, you have to be real...and you can't be real if you're nice all the time. I do not trust people who always, always treat other people with a veneer of niceties. No siree. You show me someone with a fake smile plastered on their face, and I'll bet you a dime to a donut hole that person has any number of very Un-Nice thoughts going through their head and has probably conversed about those Un-Nice thoughts with their closest circle and bosom buds. Isn't what a person thinks in their head and heart who he really is? Say it. Say it. People who are constantly greeting a person with sugar coatings and back pattings make my teeth itch. Usually it's not the least bit convincing that they're being nice either. What is worse than people who make nice? People who make nice and think you don't know they're making nice. Huh? What do I do to those people? I make nice back to them. To the people I love, I'm truly a troll. It's a sign of my affection! I'm a woman of contradictions. What can I say? Someone that I work with once met my mom and told them, "Pinkie is always mean to me." To which my mom replied, "Oh! That means she loves you!" Somewhere. Someone has a blog and I'm one of their peeves.
3. Sticks in mud. Have you ever just wanted to have a little fun? Maybe prank call a co-worker and do some heavy breathing? Order pizza and tell the poor kid who delivers it that you didn't order pizza only to stop him when he's halfway back to his car and say, 'Just kidding!', or maybe you like stealing your co-workers Twinkies from their desk drawer, taking out a big bite off the end of it, re-wrapping it and putting it back in their desk for them to find later! Oh yes. And what's wrong with taking the life sized, cardboard cut-out of a man and propping him around the dark corner in the faculty restroom and hiding to watch the secretary jump out of her pants when she sees him? What's wrong with that? Levity is defined as lack of appropriate seriousness. Is there an appropriate level of seriousness? Not in my world Frank.
2. Respect for authority. Now, being a teacher, I RESPECT respect for authority. I demand that my students and my own children respect authority. This peeve, I guess you could say, has two sides. I deplore. I detest seeing someone who doesn't give their elders (and I typically mean the ELDERLY) their due. I will go out of my way to lend a hand to blue-haired oldies at Walmart. I make sure that my kids recognize an older citizen and let them go ahead of them in a check out line. We encourage our kids to take care of and care for our sweet grand-neighbor. That is an "authority" that I can get behind. On the flip side, I have to be honest. I have problems with authority figures. I love my principal. He's a great man, but he's not a man caught up in his own authority. He is a man who respects his employees and treats them like people, collaborates with them, and is just as likely to find a mop to clean up a 7th graders vomit as he is to call a janitor to come do it. No, my peeve lies more with people who are obsessed with and bathe in their authority for the power that it gives them. For the respect you OWE them--NOT. Oh, that's a hard one to swallow. I should respect them no less. I know. I know. But it's hard. So very hard. And NO, I have never eaten the end off of any Twinkie and replaced it in a desk of any boss. Ahem. (Does toilet paper rolling their yard count?)
1. Having to tell somebody something more than once. And mostly I don't mean your average, Hey I forgot what you said kind of moment. I mean more like the I know we've had this same discussion 4 different times moment. I know a lady who will, without fail, sit and listen to me drone on and on (because obviously that doesn't peeve me-I love it when I drone--sort of like right now) only to see me a few days later and ask me what I droned on and on about. UG! I mean...c'mon....isn't everyone out there hanging on my every word?
Hello?
Hello.
Is anyone out there?
Hello....