Sophy has wandered around here for the past few days lamenting the fact that "everyone has a man of their dreams, except her." I told her that of course she had a man of her dreams, that is what daddy's are for! To which she replied, "Well, he is a hunk, I'll tell ya that....but if he grew a beard, I'd have to call him my Bearded Hunk!" As with most Conversations With Sophy (feel free to peruse back through the many,) it's usually best to just walk away before you get too deep.
Yesterday's conversation of the day went something like this," Mom, did you know the Rosetta Stone was written in three languages?" I'm thinking Rosetta Stone is a language learning program that Michael Phelps uses when she goes on, "Yep. Hieroglyphics, Demotic, and Greek. I used to speak Greek, but then I mostly forgot how it goes....but I can still write in hieroglyphics."
That conversation led into this one, "Mama did you know my great grandmother lived a 1,000 years ago in the desert of Egypt. I saw her picture once. Her name was Raeve. She was really old. Like, realllly ooo-ooold. She died in a sandstorm trying to find her way home. I miss her." Like I said, it's best to just walk away when you can.
I met a friend for dinner last night while DaddyP and the kids stayed home. We had a good time, and we even went for coffee/hot chocolate afterwards at the bookstore. Seriously a treat. At some point in my purchase of a book, I managed to totally offend the manager of the bookstore by using his "manager voice" to mock him as I spoke to the employee he had just talked down to. The employee; however, thought it was funny, so I guess there is a lesson there in how you can't please everyone. The Grump was all, "Robert. Get over here and check these people out!" in this giant, booming voice of totally unnecessary authority. In Robert's defense, the bookstore was empty and he was stocking a shelf of calendars. So, as he ran (pleaser that he apparently was) around the registers, I boomed at him, "YES ROBERT! YOU BETTER DO AS I SAY!" ((Uhm, oopps, Hello Grumpy Manager Man who is now glaring at me.)) Actually, I sometimes have these out of body experiences where something is coming out of my mouth and my brain is saying, "NNnnooooo...pppllleasee sttooppp nowwww!!" Only it's too late at that point. It's like trying to stop a runaway train or attempting to suck a bullet back into the barrell of a gun. Well, if you ask me, Mr. Manager Pants was just a tad too stuffy, and Mr. Employee Pants needed a laugh. So there ya go. Plus, I had no idea I could do such a spot on imitation of a grumpy boss. When have I ever seen a Grumpy Boss? Gee...hhhmmm... why would a boss ever be grumpy with sweet, innocent, little old me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better it all went downhill from there.
Young Robert called me "M'am," so I had to tell him that it was very insulting to a woman of my age to be m'am'd.
"You see Robert, I'm not old enough yet to appreciate it. And I'm not so much very older than you, although with these gray hairs and crow's feet, I don't blame you for thinking I'm antiquated."
To which Robert innocently suggested, "I could call you Sweetheart?"
(Oh yes, Mr. Manager was really glaring at us now.)
"Oh, that would be great!", I told him.
"Then that'll be $6.89, Sweetheart."
"Much better," I tell him.
As I carried my bag out the door, that cheeky kid shouted to me, "Thanks, Babe!"
Something tells me that Robert may be looking for a job today.
But I bet he's happy.
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