I hear you gasp and say, "What is Topic Tuesday?"
Dear hearts, I shall tell you. On Topic Tuesday, I will rant and rave and voice my opinions in a most unladylike way for all and sundry to read on random and bizarre topics.
Now I hear you ask, "How is this different from any other day?"
And now I say to you, "Mind your manners, lest I call your mama." (Is lest a word?)
So, without further delay, I give you my first topic:
BODY HAIR
If you're like me, and I imagine that you are thanking your Maker that you aren't, you grow body hair like a Chia. I realize that there are people in this world who are as hairless as a Mexican Chihuahua, but I, friends and neighbors, am no chihuahua. Sticking with the canine comparison, gee, I'd have to classify myself with the labradoodle breed (because they're adorable like me...ahem.)Frankly, if I am to maintain a modicum of honesty on Topic Tuesday, I'll have to cut through the kibble and say that I am as hairy as they come. I have more body hair than PDaddy. I have more body hair than a Russian weightlifter on bad steroids. I have more body hair than.....oh, you're ready for me to move on? I often wonder which one of my ancestors this tendency to sprout hair came from. As far as I know, I'm a mixture of Irish, Scottish, Welsh, and possibly a smackling of Choctaw on my maternal grandmother's side. Are any of these nationalities known to be excessively hairy? I do not know. You tell me. (And I'm not being hypothetical...literally, tell me if you know.) I am direct descendant to Harris, McBee, Morris, Smith, and Rutledge peoples. Do you know any people of such a name? Are they hairy? I'd really like to know.
All I know is that I can shave and regrow a new crop of leg hair in a matter of 2 hours. Mostly I believe this to be abnormal. Well meaning passers-by might suggest Nair. To which I give a big, hardy bark of laughter! Nair is a really good moisturizer. I've never had a better cream rinse for my leg hair than Nair. There may be people reading this with stubble the size of tree trunks. Too ashamed to speak out are they, and who can blame them? It's not dinner party conversation, people. Nay. My word to you, my hairy sisters, is that you are not alone. Hairy people of the world! Unite!
In closing, I'd like to apologize for the senseless babble. I only promised you Topic Tuesday; I never promised that it would be pretty.
Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my...
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
4 comments:
Body hair for your first topic is not really a good way to start. I'm just sayin'.
Rick wanted to let you know that when he checked your blog earlier, he got all excited to hear the Aggie War Hymn playing. We don't hear it much these days. (sigh...)
So, you say you have a bit of Choctaw in your blood? Our youth pastor at church is 1/2 Choctaw, and he literally has to shave his face minimum 2 times a day, more if he needs to spruce up for the evening. He says his dad is the same. Maybe that smattering in your familial history is dominant in your genes. Lucky you! I, too, have lots and lots of body hair. My arms are fine, but my legs are terrible. I have to drag a razor over them each night, and if I miss a night, then it hurts like crazy to shave again...feels like the hairs are being pulled out from the roots as the razor crosses them. OUCH!!! Then, of course, the razor burn sets in... Fortunately, my husband is a very wonderful man who never complains about my pokey legs.
As a side note, I also have very thick hair on my head. Good thing, too, since I seem to shed like crazy. My hubby keeps threatening to collect it all and make a wig out of it so that when it all falls out due to shedding so much, I will still have my own hair! Weird thing is...no matter how much I seem to lose with normal brushing/washing, it NEVER seems to get any thinner. Whatever.
I like Topic Tuesdays. Can't wait for next week!
BritaL
I hear ya...oh I FEEL your pain...no really, as in I've tried just about every non-laser hair removal method and have FELT the pain! Oh and by the way both the Scottish and the Welsh are notoriously hairy...fyi. lol
Yo homes... i feel your pain. If i shave my legs and a breeze comes bye... oh look! instant hair!! I hate it and it sucks. Ive come to decide that andersons, longacres, boulwares, and browns are no just hairy people but wickedly prematurely gray haired people. And by premature I mean finding your first grey hair at the age of 8... everything has been down hill since then. Cheers to body hair! loves. xoxo.
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