Well. I guess you may be let down by the level of creepiness found in this story; however, every time the fellow leaves my house (which is every day due to Mr. Pinkie's work,) I am struck by a weird feeling that crawls all over me like flies on a rotten apple. You see, I am pretty sure the man, in his late 40's to early 50's, has the hots for Mr. Pinkie. If I answer the door, he remains very courteous while presenting me with Mr. Pinkie's delivery before heading on his way. This can have nothing to do with the fact that I almost always answer the door in the form of some domestic goddess/angel...what with my bare feet and 3 sizes too large jogging pants that are cut-off rather choppily to Capri length with one leg longer than the other and sagging at dangerously low levels, a stained tank top with ravioli smeared about, or the ALWAYS perfectly coiffed hair-do that I invariably am sporting.
No, you let Mr. Pinkie answer the door and this man lights up like a firefly. He talks and talks and GIGGLES and asks questions and seems so genuinely interested in any facet of Mr. Pinkie's life, verily I tell you, he seems nigh onto swooning every time Mr. Pinkie is present. I have eavesdropped on certain front porch conversations between the two, and I will admit (a lesser woman would be able to do no such thing) that I have been tempted to step outside and drape myself seductively over Mr. Pinkie in a grand show of HE BELONGS TO ME!!, but I haven't done that as of yet. Is it weird to be jealous of the FedEx man's intentions? I am thinking probably that it is.
Mr. Pinkie, being in possession of the kindest, most naive heart of anyone I've ever known, thinks that the FedEx man is "just a really nice guy" as he pats me patiently on the shoulder and pecks me on the cheek. While I glare at the FedEx truck as it pulls out of the drive.
I'm telling you. The man is after my man. Mr. Pinkie is afraid to answer the door now for fear of being ravished by the delivery man. Hehee.
4 comments:
LOL I agree that your FedEx man does sound a bit creepy. My husband felt a bit threatened by our former Schwan's man but I think that was because he was the only adult contact I would have for days at a time back when the kids were babies. And he was a cute man in uniform. ;)
Yep. Sounds creepy to me. For some weird reason, it makes me think of that song you used to sing....something about a hot dog man..down at the hot dog stand..... :)
Whoa...that is...well...whoa. Definitely creepy-fied! The spontaneous seductive draping could be quite fun though...lol Just to see what reaction you get ;)
all i have to say is... heehee indeed!
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