So far on Saturday...

Mr. Pinkie had a family shoot today, so once again he has sprung free into the world while our beautiful children and I attempt to coexist peacefully on a Saturday morning. It's not working so much today.
Jackson tried to stuff the cat into the window seat storage in the bedroom at which time our, typically, laidback kitty cat became possessed by something supernatural and frightening. Jack bled.
Sam dressed himself, involuntarily, as we're working on the finer points of being a six year old. Today's lesson being: YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE YOUR CLOTHES AND DRESS YOURSELF BY NOW WITHOUT WHINING/CRYING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO HELP YOU BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU TOO TIRED TO DO IT FOR YOURSELF. So, that was a fiasco. He did end up dressing himself in a church shirt, undershirt, camo shorts belonging to his brother and 3 sizes too large, and a belt to cinch it all up with the shirt tucked in and the shorts pulled up under his chin. Prior to this episode he had already constructed a 3-story zoo with Lincoln Logs for his sister's Pet Shop animals to live in. At some point there were artistic differences on the design of the building of the rabbit pen, and Sophy took her animals and went home. Now the Lincoln Log zoo stands like Mayan ruins in the boy's bedroom.
Sophy disappeared into the treehouse very early this morning, clad only in her pink duckie nightgown and bare feet, where she found the cowbell that Sam had placed up there as an "alien alarm" and proceeded to alert the neighboring homes of an alien invasion of epic proportions. My attempt to have a meaningful discussion on why we do not ring the cowbell so early in the morning earned me a "whatever" from my 5 year old. Which earned my 5 year old a very warm sensation on her backside. Which earned me a nice 2-3 minutes of Sophy crying/holding her breath/almost passing out. Shortly thereafter, Sophy was using a mechanical grabber toy as a crutch and pretending to limp while saying, "Mom. I think you broke my butt. Can you call the ambulance?" She still has her makeshift crutch as I type and has added her neck and ankle to her "broken" list. Drama? What drama?
A few minutes ago I came upon an illegal scam going operation that involved Sam taking toys that belong to his brother and trying to sell them BACK to his brother. Who they already belonged to. Sadly, Jack had his money box down and was attempting to "make a deal" with his brother to "buy back" his belongings. Needless to say, we had a fairly lengthy discussion on when and when NOT to make a deal with someone, selling things illegally, and smart money matters.
All of this before 9:30. I bet somewhere in this world there are people still sleeping.
Now. If you'll excuse me. I hear the Wonder Pets are coming on. I happen to love me some Wonder Pets like nobody's business. That Ming-Ming. That duck is something else.