I have said this one little phrase about 1,997 times today. Ack. It's starting to leave a rancid taste in my mouth. About 2 hours ago, I dropped the aforementioned phrase for a more pleading, "Why? Why would you do that when I just told you to stop?" Followed up by, "Now you're sister has green marker eyebrows." After that I was answered with a quickly delivered, "I dunno, fish head...she likes it that way," while the offending red-headed 6 year old ran off to shoot the cat (once again, for the 219th time since lunch.) I finally just dropped all pretense at verbal reprimanding and leveled the dreaded 'look' at anyone who dares to step in the visual path of the stare. It didn't work in case you were wondering.
It's a school holiday for corn's sake. I don't want to beat anyone today. Ya know? Why can't we all just get along? Why must we stuff ourselves into pillowcases and fall on one another as we topple over lamps and giggle like insane, crazy people? Is it completely necessary that we hover a finger 2 mm over any given sibling's skin while they scream in obvious terror at the thought of being touched...by a finger?
As a last ditch effort, I did what any Mommy would do on a 31 degree, icey road, tree crackling day (if you wouldn't, please don't tell me.) I bundled them up, layers, toboggans, jackets, and tennis shoes and made them jog to the end of the block and back. Twice. ((Evil laugh inserted here.)) THAT worked in case were wondering.
In even more disturbing family news, Sophy has bemoaned the fact on numerous occassions today that she wasn't endowed with certain anatomical features (ahem) that her brothers were blessed with. To the point of tears and very specific requests made to rectify the situation. Why, she pleaded, would they have such handy equipage and she did not? Who had forgotten to give it to her, she wanted to know. Could we buy one at Walmart was the next question. She cried silently in her room for a while. Mourning the loss of her manhood that never was. Boy, wouldn't she be disappointed to learn about the fun mother nature has in store for her womanliness down the road? Let's hope that is a long, long, long way off. First, we have to get over our missing parts. Or, part, as it were.
4 comments:
It has been a VERY long holiday day here too. Of course it doesn't help that we have been ice bound since Friday afternoon and are now getting very stir crazy from being so cozy this long. I tried sending my kids out but they only lasted about 10 minutes. I am just hoping that they don't cancel school again tomorrow. My mom's school already has. Sigh.
I can feel Sophy's pain. I've been without a bathroom on a country road on a long road trip many a time and I've secretly coveted men's ability to whip it out and pee on the side of the road. It's not so easy for us, what with the hovering and all.
You are so funny.
I forget - all I need to do when I need a laugh is come over to your blog... thanks!
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